Speaking into the New Beginning

Your mother and I just dropped you off at college. The longer I'm a dad and a husband the more I'm forced into submission. Somewhere along the way a boy is convinced to believe that being a man means being in control. Well, it is a lie. I am not in control else you would be in your bedroom, curled up in your bed reading a book and at some point you would come downstairs and talk me into watching some chick flick and eventually going to the store to get you chocolate. Instead, you are in a dorm room watching movies with your "RA" and your new friends. I'm not in control. I'm submitting to God's ridiculous design of pouring my life into one that I will have to let go. It is life and death and somehow it is good. It doesn't feel good today, but I must submit for I know, deep down, He IS good.

I have felt this day coming for sometime, about a year in fact. I almost began this blog a year ago in an attempt to get you ready for college. However, demands on time and lack of discipline and probably being afforded more time with you collided to make it all so impossible. But you are gone now, so I must write. As God spoke into the chaos of nothingness, I want to speak into the hurt, of my own heart, to prepare you, me, us for what's ahead.

I want to use the Psalms as the centerpiece for I don't have many words of wisdom, but I know One who does. The Psalms were the worship book of God's people. The thing that gets me about them is how their different composers seemed to be forcing themselves to worship when they were lonely, depressed, afraid, really sorry, or just captivated by the beauty of a God that met them when they were lonely, depressed, afraid or really sorry. I'm not sure if college will ever lead you to these feelings, but I have a hunch it will. I do because, remember, I'm not in control. He is in control and his desire is to get your heart, not make you safe. He is a better daddy and I'm only as good as my ability to lead you to Him.

One more thing before we begin. I want to speak into mom's life as well. I thought I was going to have to rip her off you yesterday.  It was like trying to pull your fingers apart after super glue has set. You can do it, but not without pain and a bit of lost skin! And even another thing, my hope is that your sisters will read this and know that I'm speaking to them as well. Long story short, it is a family affair!

A few disclaimers. I can't promise I will write every day. 3-4 times per week is probably more realistic. I don't know if I will hit every Psalm and who knows I may even stray from them into other parts of the Bible. Feel free to share this blog. It has saddened me to see how many comments from girls are posted on FB when I write something sweet on your birthday. However, we all long for a father to speak lovingly to us. It is what makes us human and why the gospel story is so life giving. But it will be to you, to mom, to whit and ash and b when he gets old enough and his brother...you get the point! I love and miss you and look forward to what this year will bring!

Dad